Keep your heart-filled intentions through empty classes after teacher training

5 min read

For almost 17 years, I’ve been an elementary school teacher. The first few years of teaching in the New York City public school system, with class sizes of up to thirty-one students or more, is not for the faint of heart. I remember truly overwhelming moments when I questioned my decision and thought about changing course.

I experienced a level of fatigue that my 20-something-year-old body wasn’t accustomed to, as well as unbelievable stress and feeling lost and unsuccessful.

After I became more familiar with classroom management and learned how to capture children’s attention in my teaching, along with certain students who really pulled me in, I was in it for the longer haul. As my journey began, I was processing my childhood and felt drawn to be a part of children’s positive lives.

The Call to Teach

Over time, I began healing at deeper levels and peeled back layers of myself. I became more attracted to helping other adults in their healing journeys. Reiki healing and my yoga practice helped me make the changes I had been resisting for so long, both physically and spiritually. My inner teacher beckoned me to begin my yoga teacher training.

My time as a teacher trainee was one of the most beautiful times in my life. I felt connected to the body on a new level. As I studied Patanjali’s Yoga Sutras and other sacred texts of the yogic tradition, my thirst for knowledge reached its peak. It didn’t seem like work to me, as I was able to combine my full-time job with my weekend training. This further fueled my passion for yoga and teaching.

My certificate was just as important to me as my master’s degree.

The Journey BeginsIt’s harder to find a job in yoga than I thought. Many studio owners prefer to hire those who have trained themselves, their trainees who are waiting in line for subs and getting on the schedule. The studio I taught at had its regular instructors and was not in need.

Many yoga lovers prefer the atmosphere of a yoga studio. After completing my teacher training, I found a job in a local gym, and my first class was full.

When no one shows up

As I prepare for my class and set my intentions in quiet meditation, I glance up many times to see the time. Some days, the door will not open. I am left alone in my sacred space. It’s hard to stop my self-talk about how I may not be good enough to attract people. Sometimes, the not good enough can take over. But I am learning to give my higher voice a chance and regain control. I let these feelings pass through me without judgment.

You can be very powerful if you only know it. Yogi Bhajan

This is the start of a long journey, just as it was when I started teaching elementary school. Our experiences are given meaning. What if we changed the meaning we give to things? While I study myself,  I’m noticing how I give meaning to things that devalue me.

It does not mean that we are worthless if there are no classes. This is only true if you decide to make it so. As I surrender to this journey, deeper healing layers are revealed, and I realize that this is part of my process. All of this serves my healing.

Remembering why we started

I have been called to serve in this lifetime. I am a naturally gifted teacher and healer. It is in my very being. I felt a deep desire to share yoga and guide people through their journey.

My life’s path includes this calling. I believe in my heart and intentions. This precious life is given to us without any guidelines. We create outlines for how we want it to unfold, and the path is revealed in the unfolding.

I have found that yoga practice has fed my soul and continues to call me out to serve others. I trust it, and I claim that. Nicole Marquardt

Just a few weeks ago, I taught a class on a Sunday morning with just two students. After Savasana, we honored our practice by bowing our heads, placing our hands on our hearts, and saying”Namaste” to acknowledge the divine in ourselves and each other.

A woman approached me as I rolled my mat. When I looked up, she was crying. She told me that her dad had died just a few weeks before, and she said to me,” You helped me today.” At that moment, my purpose felt fulfilled. No matter how many people are in the class—thirty or three—or if they come to a popular studio, a gym, or our homes, we help people heal, receive, and release.

We create sacred spaces. The vibration and what happens there is what makes a sacred space. Everything done with love and intent is enough.

You May Also Like

More From Author

+ There are no comments

Add yours